Insomnia

Seem to have a case of insomnia.  One of the difficulties is thinking too much about having cancer.  Wondering what the surgery will be like.  Wondering if I will have radiation and chemotherapy.  Praying it is not spreading as I wait for the surgery on February 8th.  Thinking about "Sarcoma".  Reframing these thoughts to a lump in my thigh they are taking out.  Breathing deeply, going through all my chakras,  going through the walking down the stairs meditation, walking on the beach meditation. 4 breath meditation.  Still awake.

Then I tell myself, I can't sit here all night thinking about this stuff.  Not productive.

So I moved on to Mangos.... yep you heard me Mangos.  Yesterday I told my husband to replace chocolate with mangos.  I really like chocolate, and my diet has not been the best, but I also like Mango's just as much.  So as the diet changes, fresh mangos become the chocolate of choice.  So if you are dropping by and thinking of getting me a treat to cheer me up, bring a mango.

For breakfast I had a papaya.

I've pulled out the vegetable juicer to get more green stuff into me.  I've been eating fresh fruit, frozen berries.

The vegetable juicer is the best solution for me (as I mix it with grapes, pears, apples, Kale, spinach, cucumber , carrots and other green things that I just gag on when placed on the dinner table).  Fruit and veggie mix make it go down better.  Add a bit of ginger.... for some zing.

I am looking for a way to get the micro nutrients into my body.

I have stopped all aspartame drinks and foods

I've stopped foods with labels that have words that are too long to pronounce.  If it is processed and packaged too much, then I am not eating it.

I am not having "protein shakes" that come in a jar but instead the high micronutrient veggie and juice shakes with greek yogurt with fresh ingredients I gride up myself.

I am finding it hard to eat a lot of meat.  It doesn't digest well.  Bit of chicken, little bit of beef.

Tonight was chicken, broccoli and sweet potato.  Ate more broccoli and sweet potato then chicken.  That's a change for me.  My body doesn't want large quantities of meat.  Red meat is especially hard for me to digest these days.  Gives me heartburn.

Anyhow, the ramblings of insomnia.  Mind jumps from one subject to the next.  3:03 a.m.

I wonder why people look at the clock so much when they get insomnia.  I know I am not the only one who does that.  Then I do that calculation, if I can get to sleep within the next 20 minutes, then I can get 3 more hours of sleep tonight.  As the night goes on, the calculation of potential sleep goes down.  Then about 45 minutes before the alarm, I am asleep like a baby and could sleep for hours.  Waking up the first thought is "really???"

I am, for the most part, a very cheery person in the morning.  Even when I am tired.

Ok Insomnia, lets try saying goodbye for tonight. Don't visit too often Insomnia.  Your tire me out.