This past weekend a group of friends came over for D&D weekend as planned. My mother in law took the kids up to her place in Parry Sound. We had a chance to talk without little ears listening in.
What an amazing group of people I have in my life. I broke down a couple of times over the weekend as my emotions ebb and flow. I am scared, worried, also hopeful and grateful. Crying one moment, laughing the next. Kinda like being pregnant with all the hormones going through you. This weekend these wonderful people helped me feel safely, I could cry, and be afraid. I could also laugh and be silly. They created a safe place for me to be.
I am not sure if they caught this, but I watched every single one of them this weekend. Soaked in the memory, felt gratitude. Sent each of them my love silently towards them. I watched them talk and smile and enjoy each others company. I felt the joy of living with them. I was very much present with them. (Yes even when checking my clash of clans, boom beach and cat apps).
At one point I was looking at Chris, my husband, my best friend. Just watching him. God I love this man more than words can say. He loves me too. He is so courageous right now. We just have to grow old together.
The support and love I felt was absolutely amazing.
I am so blessed to have such wonderful people in my life.
It gets even better. Someone has donated a condo and parking spot to Chris 5 blocks away from the hospital in Toronto I will be at, for as long as he needs it. I started crying as soon as I heard this. Such a relief that Chris will have a place to stay, where he can also process what he needs to process while I am in hospital.
My Mother in law is coming to help with the kids.
My Dad is working on some sort of plan with my sister.
Friends have offered to come help with laundry and meals when I am back from the hospital.
People from work have contacted me, who I never thought would, providing me support and offering assistance.
The generosity of people is so amazing.
I feel so blessed.
I'd rather be healthy, at work right now. I'd rather not need the help. With that said, the amount of kindness and support and honest caring that is out there is just overwhelming.
Thank you everybody
Thank you for me
Thank you for Chris
Thank you for my kids
Thank you for my family
Thank you for my friends
Once this is over I am going to have a great time paying all this love forward to others who are needing it too.
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